Mommy Can You Feel Me?

I wanted to share a message that I received. A wonderful woman that I don’t know wrote a poem from Curren. It brought me to tears… Thank you Julie

Jackie I have never met you, or your family, but I read your story on a Facebook mommy group, and it hit me in the deepest part of my heart. I have read stories of children’s passings before, and it always strikes a nerve…but something about your sweet boy made an even larger impact. I wonder if it’s the way you write about Curren, the way your love for him shines through your words. I feel like there is a link between every mother, a way we’re all connected somehow. Nobody can understand the way a mother loves, until they become one. It may be that your little boy reminds me of my own. He will turn 2 this summer, and he is all smiles, blonde hair and blue eyes. My step children have even glanced at his pictures and thought for a moment it was my son. I’ve seen the videos you have posted, and the very same way you interacted with Curren, reminds me of how I do with my little Noah. I read every one of your posts, and I cry. My heart hurts for you as if I know you. I imagine myself in your shoes, and it just tears me apart to think of losing my son in such a tragic way. I know that I would simply fall apart. Your strength and grace have inspired me so greatly. I almost feel as if I know you. I have wanted to message you for a long time, but never knew what to say. I wonder how I’d feel if a complete stranger told me that she connected with me so deeply. Would I find it strange? I just wanted to reach out to you somehow, and let you know how much of an impact Curren has had on this world, even on those who never knew him. I was inspired to write something for you. I have read each of your posts since his passing, so that this poem could be something uniquely yours. I can only hope, that it brings you some comfort.

“Mommy Can You Feel Me?”
By: Julie Ridgley

Mommy, did you see them?
I left behind some cars.
I’d hoped that when you’d find them
You’d know I wasn’t far.

Mommy where’s your smile?
I didn’t mean to make you cry.
I only meant to show you
That your little boy’s nearby.

Mommy, can you hear it?
The wind that whistles through the trees?
Did you know that I can fly now?
Oh I’m so happy soaring free.

Mommy can you feel it?
The sunshine on your face?
That’s my arms around you,
Your angel son’s embrace.

Mommy, did he tell you?
I met my brother in his dreams.
I hope it made you happy
To see his sad face gleam.

I know you’re feeling guilty,
That you’re holding on to blame.
I know your heart is heavy
Every time you hear my name.

I know it makes you angry.
I know that it’s not fair.
I know you just can’t understand
Why my body can’t be there.

But Mommy, I’m beside you
Each and every time you cry.
When you want to see my baby blues
Just gaze up at the sky.

Mommy, I must tell you
That you were he very best.
I know how much you miss me.
I hope someday your heart can rest.

You see, Mommy I was happy!
Never saw sadness, loss, or greed.
You loved me without limits,
And met my every need.

I know that you can’t see me,
But I promise you I’m there,
Every time you tell my story,
Ever time you say a prayer.

Mommy, please tell Daddy
Bella, Hayes, and Aiden too
That though you cannot see me,
I live on through each of you.

Mommy, can you feel me?
You carry me inside your heart.
Just think of all the joy we shared
When you want to fall apart.

Mommy, just know I love you,
And that will never go away.
Because you cared for me so fiercely,
My love is there to stay.

Mommy, I hope you’ll listen,
And I hope you always know,
That though you may not see me,
I will never let you go.

In Memory of Curren Erik Collas

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